‘007 agents aren’t what they used to be’: Russian foreign ministry mocks ‘discovery’ of docs linked to UK navy’s Crimea incursion

Sunday’s emergence of “highly-classified” documents linked to a British warship’s incursion into Russian waters near Crimea, days after it occurred, amounts to a “bunch of lies” to cover it up, Russia’s foreign ministry has said.

According to British state broadcaster BBC, the 50-page dossier, related to the Black Sea mission of the HMS Defender, was apparently found by a passer-by in a heap of trash behind a bus stop in Kent on Tuesday morning.

The discovery, supposedly made right before Wednesday's incident when the UK destroyer entered Russian waters, was publicized by the BBC only on Sunday. The state outlet would almost certainly have had to tell its government what it had obtained and asked whether anything needed to be redacted in "the national interest."

The miraculous find, however, has been deemed rather hard-to-believe by Russian officials. Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Maria Zakharova took to Telegram to mock the whole affair, suggesting the sudden emergence of the documents looked like a clumsy attempt to distract. 

In reality, London has demonstrated yet another provocative action followed by a bunch of lies to cover it up. 007 agents are not what they used to be.

Apparently, goldmine bus stops with highly-sensitive documents lying around should be the target for the persistent paranoia exhibited by many in the UK, instead of elusive, omnipotent ‘Russian hackers,’ Zakharova suggested.

“Now, here’s a question to the British Parliament: who needs ‘Russian hackers’ if there are British bus stops?” she asked.

The haul of documents, which supposedly emerged from the office of a senior Ministry of Defence official, reportedly described the mission of the destroyer as an “innocent passage through Ukrainian territorial waters.” The military strategists insisted they had a “strong, legitimate narrative” for the whole stunt, while reporters aboard the ship would have provided “independent verification” for it.

Some officials, however, raised concerns about a possible “welcome party” to be thrown by Russia, the documents show. Avoiding the waters around Crimea, however, would be deemed to be too weak, as it would presumably give Moscow an opportunity to say the UK ship had run away.

The HMS Defender crossed Russian territorial waters off Crimea on Wednesday, triggering a response from the country’s military, which said it dispatched two patrol ships and warplanes to warn it off. Officials added that the ship ultimately left the area after warning shots were fired at it.

The UK military was quick to deny the Russian version of events, claiming the shooting was a part of a planned exercise, while the destroyer merely conducted its aforementioned “innocent passage through Ukrainian territorial waters in accordance with international law.”

These damage-control attempts later left the UK military red-faced again, as a video showing Russian vessels repeatedly warning and then firing warning shots at the direction of the destroyer was released by Moscow shortly, on Thursday. 

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